AIRIN' IT ALL OUT

or other possible titles for this blog......

"A Good, Good Feelin'"

"Let the Light So Shine"

"What You See Is What You Get"

"Just Layin' Back"

"Huh?"

"Come and Get It"

"This Is All I Got"

"Ahhhhhhhhh"

And I could go on, and on, and on.......  And on, believe me........

But HERE was Luci for most of the night tonight......

She's still recovering from the Thanksgiving chaos (previous blog).

Aren't we all.

And, I thought, while I was watching her tonight, that don't we girls ALL just want to do this from time to time???!!!

THANKSGIVING STORIES

We had Thanksgiving dinner at our house this year, and it was such a great day!

NEPHEW did the organization and the stressing.  He was much better at both than I would have been, and he was SO much fun to cook with.  And, wow, can he organize!

NEPHEW and I now know how to use a meat thermometer (and how to spot one when it's in the drawer.  A candy thermometer isn't the same thing.)!  It's really not as easy as you think it would be.  Apparently you need to know where to put the thermometer and how long to leave it there.  The three minute rule with a rectal thermometer doesn't apply here.  We seriously put the end of the thermometer in the the boiling potato water to see if the little red line was going to move at all.  It did.  So we put it back in the turkey.

We had eight people... me, HUSBAND, SON, DAUGHTER, NEPHEW, SONSLONGTIMEGIRLFRIENDWELOVEHER, SISTERFROMANOTHERMOTHER, and DAUGHTERSGREATFRIENDN.  And enough food for 750.  Everybody got to take home food for ten.

To explain further..... we had eight people, two spoiled, anxious cats, a small house, a small kitchen, and football playing on the never-to-be-turned-off-goddamnit-TV.  HUSBAND controlled the games and the remote control.  End of that.

SON built a wonderful fire in the backyard fire pit.  We remembered to put the screen on the fire pit when the cold front came through so the fire wouldn't spark something that would burn down the neighborhood.  Of course, we all had to discuss, at length, whether or not the wind was strong enough, and should the screen be put on the fire pit, and, oh, it was so pretty without the screen.  But then we saw a blazing branch blow out of the fire pit and across the yard, so we all said yep better put the screen on the fire pit.  End of that, also.  It burned beautifully the rest of the evening.

We had a little issue with slicing the turkey.  Turns out, nobody really wanted to do that.  And everybody claimed the I've-never-done-that-before defense.  HUSBAND just sat back and smiled. So SON and NEPHEW took it on and did a great job.  I've made note, however, that we don't need a carving knife next year.  Hands work just fine.

The food was wonderful and the conversation was even better.  We laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed.  All day.  Here are some more highlights:

-  We had the awkward moment when SOMEONE said should we say grace? Not sure who thought they should ask that?  I think I said well ok uhh sure really? Then DAUGHTER said oh we should all just say what we're thankful for.  And we all stared at her.  Then we did that.  And it turned out just fine.  Apparently, we all loved each other, and were thankful to be with each other, and we hoped to do it again next year, and we were so thankful for all the food, and does anybody need another drink.

-  I made the mistake of saying to everyone that SON and NEPHEW had done a great job of "BONING the turkey".  I heard somebody say did she just say "BONING the turkey?" and there was laughter (Beevis & Butthead went through my head).  Then I corrected my verb to de-boning.  Gotta laugh at that one.

- Then after somebody passed somebody the rolls and butter, there was some sort of comment, then SOMEBODY said "well don't ask me to butter your biscuit anymore!"  There was a pause, and then laughter.  Gotta laugh at that one too.

-  We had the last minute digging for dishes that were in the "don't-look-in-here" cabinets.  The cabinets where you use your foot to hold the stuff in so you can slam the door.  Ya'll may not have any of those.  All of mine are that way.

-  We did the appropriate amount of Sarah Palin bashing.  We talked about what we would do if she ever became president.  Turns out we would all move to another country.

-  We had the debate about whether they are yams or sweet potatoes.

-  We had the debate about cornbread dressing versus white bread dressing.

-  We trashed family members who weren't there.

-  I said "dark meat" too many times, apparently.

-  I'm sure I said will you grab me another beer too many times.  DAUGHTER started the drinking, however, by cracking open the Merlot at 1:00, so it was open season from then on.

-  Pancho managed to get outside (he's a pampered, indoor cat).  We don't know how long he was out there but somebody heard him at the back door.  DAUGHTER opened the door and he trotted his big self right back inside.  He looked at me, and I'm sure I heard him say holy shit mom it's cold out there.  He planted himself in the middle of the bed and stayed there for three hours.  Then, overnight, he threw up all the grass he ate while he was outside.  It looked pretty much just like it did before he ate it.

-  And I took great pictures.  Here's what most of them look like:

There are others just like these.  We did manage to get a few group photos. I told everyone there could be NO cigarettes/cigars-by-the-fire-break until we got some damn pictures. And thanks to DAUGHTERSGREATFRIENDN we got a few family pictures, too.  I promised not to post them online.  I didn't promise to send them as Christmas cards.

Daughter and I were talking late that night, and I asked her if she thought  DAUGHTERSGREATFRIENDN had a good time.  She said oh I think he did.  She said she had already told him that we were a strange family so he was prepared.  I said really?  We're strange?  She said well, yeah, but that's a good thing.

I thought a lot about that.  I guess if I had to choose between being described as "my family is so normal", and "my family's sort of strange", I'd choose strange.

It was a really great day!

LOVE THOSE MAMMOGRAMS!

I had my yearly MAMMO scheduled for this past March.  Turned out it was during Spring Break.  I cancelled it.

When I told my doctor a few weeks ago that, no, I hadn't had my yearly MAMMO,  she said, WHYTHEHELLNOT?

So, I scheduled the MAMMO immediately, feeling like I had failed my doctor's expectations of me.  That she would no longer want me for a patient if I couldn't follow her instructions.  She's been my doctor for 18 years, and she knows that I know I should have obeyed.

I was able to get an appointment quickly, and I showed up 5 hours early to make sure I made my doctor proud.

All went well, or so I thought.  I exposed myself as requested.  I didn't fuss or complain when the technician said I'm just going to flatten this baby a little bit more, you might feel a little discomfort.  And when I was told DON'T BREATHE.  I did NOT breathe.  Who would?

Then, five days later, I get the "call back", saying that there was "just a little something they needed to look at", and I was to go to another, super-duper, MAMMO place to have it done.  And I was to go THAT day, and they had already scheduled my appointment.  I think I just said, Huh?

DAUGHTER went with me, for fun, and in case they asked if I had an adult with me.  Yes I did.

"They", the super-duper MAMMO people, were very, very nice.  They talked in soft voices, said thank-you-so-much a lot, and told me what to take off and what to put on.  And they made sure that I knew how the little pink flowered cape was supposed to work (it opens in the front!). Then, I had another, different, sort of  MAMMO, in a dimly lit room.  Again, I was told to face this way, look this way, suck this in, flop this here, move this there, tilt your chin up, move your shoulder here, hold on to this, smile, and DON'T BREATHE.  Got it.

After that, I was escorted to a "holding pen" with light blue walls and Dr. Phil playing on the flat-screen.  Other women in my same state of amusement, stress, frustration were there.  And as my friend, B, pointed out, WHY is it that some women feel compelled to talk to everyone else in the little "holding pen".  Do we really have anything to say to each other at that point?  We're all naked under our little pink flowered capes.  We all have our clothes with us, waiting for "the word".

However, some women had put their clothes on hangers, I noticed.  I just wadded mine up in a ball and used them as a prop for my book.  Considering where I was, I wasn't too worried about wrinkles, plus they provided coverage for any little gaps in my little pink flowered cape.  A 700 year old woman sitting beside me reminded me that there were hangers available.  I just smiled and said thanks but I thought it was too late.

So after about six more hours, one of the soft-speaking people called me out of the "holding pen" and told me that, once again, "there was just a little something they needed to look at", and that someone would come get me soon for a sonogram.  Annnnndddddd, another soft-speaker, LIM came to get me, told me to grab my wadded up ball of clothes and follow her.  And I did.  She asked me how I was doing as we walked.  I said, oh just fine thanks.

This time, I got to lay down.  And I exposed myself again, only one breast this time.  LIM asked me if I was cold.  I said yes can I cover back up?  She thought that was really funny.  She squirted way too much ice-cold sonogram gel on my one exposed breast, said oops, and asked if it had gotten on my face.  Trying not to complain, I said oh that's ok, I'll just rub it in.

During, the fifteen minutes of her moving the magic wand around on my cold, now gooey, naked boob, she kept making "hum" sounds.  I finally asked LIM if something was going on.  She said well I need to get somebody else to help.  SERIOUSLY.  THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.  So she opened the door and shouted into the hallway, HEY DEBRA, CAN YOU COME IN HERE AND LOOK AT THIS?

I assumed DEBRA was called in to look at some strange deformity or growth on my cold, exposed breast.  I wondered how I had missed it.  I finally asked LIM and DEBRA to fill me in please.  They thought that was funny too.  Debra, apparently, was called in to look at some computer glitch that had been causing problems all day.  LIM could have told me that ahead of time, don't you think?

I was eventually told that nothing was cause for IMMEDIATE concern and my doctor would receive the reports and contact me.  And I got the all-clear-go-ahead-and-get-dressed-in-your-wadded-up-wrinkled-clothes directive.

It was the strangest experience, and I've had a few strange experiences.  I was glad I had a broad, warped sense of humor.

So, sisters, get your MAMMO!  You might have just as much fun!

PICTURE DAY. . .

. . . and the female "comb-over"..............

I don't think I need to say more.

I found this in a box of old pictures tonight, and she's a family member.  The picture is from the 20's.  That's all I'm sayin'.

I really needed a laugh today.  And this provided the laugh!

Hope it does the same for you.

FUUUUNNNNN SATURDAY SHOPPING!

It was the most perfect day in Austin today.  No rain, no clouds, no wind, chilly night, PERFECT afternoon, with the high in the low 70's.  BEAUTIFUL weather.  And lots of entertaining events going on this weekend.

So while DAUGHTER and friends were at the FUN FUN FUN FEST on this perfect Austin day, I had my own fun.  Just let me tell you about it........

I spent THREE AND A HALF HOURS shopping for two things.

A new trash can for the kitchen.

And a new litter box for Pancho & Luci.

Does it get more fun than that?

And I spent three and a half hours because there are way too many options out there for both of these items.  I pretty much knew what I needed both things to do.  And I needed them to do it well!  WAY better than their predecessors.

Luci.....

.....has decided that she likes whatever we put in the kitchen trash can, and especially if it's mixed with coffee grounds.  I wish I had a picture.  HUSBAND usually cleans it up before I get there, trying to avoid yet more tears from me!  We don't have a cabinet that it fits in, so it has resided just fine in front of our dishwasher for a very long time.  It's foot-friendly when we need to scoot it over.  Luci has recently found the fun inside the can!

So here's what I got today.......

Ha!!!!  Get into THAT, Luci!  Sad thing is, I'm really not sure that she can't.  

And the litter box......

Well, Pancho, sweet Pancho......

...has decided that he no longer wants to go INTO the covered toilet, and that it's just easier to go on the rug right outside the door.  The rug is supposed to be for them to wipe their feet on!  I thought that was understood.  Really.

So here is what we had......

And here's what I took out a bank loan for today - the downtown, upgraded, high-end condo of litter boxes.

And I knocked out a wall this afternoon so it would fit where it needs to go!

I haven't yet put either one of these into operation.   I think I'll wait until tomorrow.
It was exhausting.  I'm glad I didn't need to shop for a new broom too.