A FUNNY STORY

I've been a non-blogger lately.

Idea-less.

Lazy.

It's January.

I have a new vacuum cleaner.

But all of a sudden I have these very random things popping into my head.

So here we go, with the first of several totally random writings...

My dear friend, and top-notch-English-teacher-book-editor, B, is totally responsible for my literary intelligence.  And probably the fact that I can call it "literary intelligence".   I've always loved to read, and have always done the no-no by dog-earring pages that I liked.  I'd go back and re-read all those dog-earred pages many times, but always feeling like I'd violated the book (old librarian philosophy!).  Over the past ten or eleven years, B has helped me be more appreciative of the books I read.  And also let me know that it's ok to dog-ear pages, and highlight passages, and write in the margins!  That means you love the book.

This little short story is from the book, Bird by Bird, by the brilliant Anne Lamott.  Friend, B, had me read this part of the book a few years ago.
It continually makes me laugh out loud EVERY single time I read it.  And I try to read it when I need a good laugh.

***
My son, Sam, at three and a half, had these keys to a set of plastic handcuffs, and one morning he intentionally locked himself out of the house.  I was sitting on the couch reading the newspaper when I heard him stick his plastic keys into the doorknob and try to open the door.  Then I heard him say, "Oh, shit."  My whole face widened, like the guy in Edvard Munch's Scream.  After a moment I got up and opened the front door.


"Honey," I said, "what'd you just say?"


"I said, 'Oh, shit,' " he said.


"But, honey, that's a naughty word.  Both of us have absolutely got to stop using it.  Okay?"


He hung his head for a moment, nodded, and said, "Okay, Mom."  Then he leaned forward and said confidentially, "But I'll tell you why I said 'shit' "  I said Okay, and he said, "Because of the fucking keys!"
***


I just love this story.  I hope it makes you laugh, too.

Stay tuned for more random stuff...