MY WALMART EXPERIENCE

We all have Walmart stories, don't we?

I made the mistake of going to Walmart today when I really wasn't feeling very well, but I certainly didn't want to go on the weekend.  There are just occasions when a Walmart run is necessary.  Today was that day for me.

My usual experience is, that while I KNOW there are intelligent people who shop at Walmart, I just don't usually encounter any of them.

My two memorable Walmart experiences today were...

First,
I saw an adorable young man contemplating wine glasses.  He was, maybe, 25 years old, and I could see that it was important to him to buy the perfect set of wine glasses.  I made up my own, quick, little romance novel in my head.  I enjoyed watching him.  He was there for a while.  And, although I know there are stalkers at Walmart, I was not one of them.

Second,
here we go......  THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED!
I was in the Pharmacy area trying to find earplugs.  (I wear them from time to time because Pancho and Luci are very noisy at night.)  So I hear these two "guys" talking about their menopausal wives, so my ears perked up.

At that point I had been in Walmart for 1.25 hours.  1.0 hours too long.

"Lucky to be married" guy #1 was saying that his wife was going through menopause and she was cranky and always hot - he could never put the thermostat on the right temperature for her, and she was always kicking the covers off the bed at night.

"Lucky to be married" guy #2 asked how old she was.  "Lucky-to-be-married" guy #1 said 42.

"Lucky to be married" guy #2 said, well you ain't seen nothin' yet just wait 'til she's 45 then she really starts sweatin' and a whole lotta other shit.

"Lucky to be married" guy #1 said, oh really shit.  "Lucky to be married" guy #2 said, oh yeah 45 is when the real sweatin' begins.

I walked a few steps around the end of the aisle to get a look at these charming fellas.  Guess what they were buying???????  Guess!!!!

CONDOMS.  Yep.  Two guys with menopausal wives buying condoms together at Walmart on a Friday night.

They saw me starring at them and actually said, oh sorry I guess we were being a little loud.  I smiled and told them that they were just lucky I was passed 45.

Then it occurred to me that I thought it was funny that the earplugs were close to the condoms.  I actually laughed out.  And my mind went off on a whole other thing about that.

Happy shopping.