MY HOROSCOPE PART 2

After finding this strange one from the Statesman last week (previous post).....

The very next day, this is what the Statesman had to say.....

You walk with confidence, smile with intrigue??????  This is the same paper that was just telling me, the previous day, that my life of mirrors was just an illusion!!  

So, did the Statesman people find different experts on different planets to write these????  Maybe on altering days???  I would think that a newspaper/magazine/kindergarten newsletter would use the same sources for "topic specific" information.  Wouldn't you?

So, to further my investigation into the weird, degenerate, sadly-cosmic horoscope world (wink wink!), Daughter also showed me the current Chronicle horoscope for my chunk of the year (if I choose to accept it!!).  

If I thought these two above were weird, well, .......

I don't even know what to say about this one.  And who is this Brezsny person?  I'd like to meet him (before he sues me!).  Seriously, "soul pit located in the tear duct of the eye"?  "Send my soul flying through my soul pit."  "Stored up tears"????  (I have NO stored up tears - I use them all!)  "Pour them down like rain"??????  Wow, really?  This one makes the Hall of Mirrors thing look like a Miley Cyrus song lyric.  

Soooooo, I think these horoscope-writer-people are just strange individuals, like me, who have too much to say, but have a better vocabulary than me.  They have no additional connection to the universe, no greater insight into our daily lives, no more of a cosmic glimpse of things to come, than we do.  I just hope that other Leos out there aren't going to worry too much about their crying, or their tear ducts, or their soul pit.  I'm going to be worrying/thinking/obsessing about those things enough for all of the Leos out there!  I'll keep the Leo people posted.

THIS is why I've never read horoscopes.  And, I've picked now to start.  Hum.