EARRINGS OR LACK THEREOF (AKA NAKED EARLOBES)

This post is for my friend T.  She has seen this side of my personality and insists that it will "help" if I talk about it.  She's a tall, beautiful woman with long, curly, red hair, and nobody notices if she has on earrings or not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  But I'm trying to calm my inner demons lately, so here it goes...

I have an obsession, or compulsion, whichever, or both.  WHATEVER!  Ok, more than one, I know.
BUT, one of them is being without earrings.  I HATE, I HATE, I HATE to get to work or anywhere else and realize that I forgot to put on earrings.

My earlobes do not always alert me soon enough about the missing accessory so it's usually when I'm in the middle of a conversation with someone else that I suddenly get this little tingle, a little flip in my stomach, OH MY GOD I FORGOT MY EARRINGS.  And I know those people are thinking wow this woman could really use some earrings!

And once I know I'm earring-less I have a hard time getting through the day.  I can't finish a thought coherently.  I can't stay on task.  I can't remember what it was I was going to do or why I was in the alcohol section of the grocery store - it's that bad.

Honestly.  I wish this wasn't true about me but it is.  There are many, many things that I could leave home without and not be bothered. . .makeup, brushing my hair, my purse, matching shoes, even my phone.  But not having on my earrings is the end of my motivation to get through the day.  It's just over for me - just going to chalk the day up to a dud and start over tomorrow. 

And they have to be floppy, dangly things that bang into my neck all day long to remind me that they're there.  Things that get hung up in my hair or my purse strap or the I've-worked-here-for-20years-and-I-still-have-to-wear-this-id  necklace that my employer requires me to wear.  My friend, B, wears beautiful little pearl earrings.  I wish I could do that.  Can't.

I have gone to Stein Mart on a  $7-earring-lunch-run many times over the past 9 years.  I pulled these out tonight because I'm pretty sure that these were all purchased in my "oh shit I forgot my earrings" panic.  And NONE of them seem to make it to my desk at work as a back-up.  I can't remember to take them BACK to work so they're there when I need them.  Again, I just never learn the lesson.

I can go out of the house in many scary forms of attire.  If I don't have a reason to put on make up and "decent" clothes I JUST DON'T DO IT.  I could have on my holey sweats, my favorite paint-splattered Chicago tshirt, or any number of other, sad, pathetic, worse-than-homeless-looking, usual articles of clothing, but I will always have MY EARRINGS on, damn it.

Unless I forget them.

REALISM

Some of us send our kids off to college after high school, or off to a different type of home life.

Some of us think that they will grow up.

Some of us think that they will experience the real world,  learn to take care of themselves.

Some of us think that there will not be any adverse influences on our kids. . . they have been raised well, taught the highs and lows, taught the good and bad, made aware of the fortunate and the not-so-furtunate.

AND, then again, some of us don't want to now anything that goes on in the daily lives of our college/away-from-home kids.

I'm one of those.

I know that we taught our kids the above things.  I still didn't want to know all the details of college/after high school life.  I still don't.

I wanted my kids to experience everything they needed to, while they could, while they didn't have to pay the mortgage - still hoping that they had the life lessons in place to make the right decisions when needed.

While cleaning daughter's room recently I ran across this note which she had kept from college days.

I understand why she kept it.  I would have too.  She had asked friends to check on her apartment and her cat (Luci) while she spent a weekend in Chicago.

And these friends were so responsible that they not only took care of the job at hand, they also let her know their shortcomings.

My thought, when I found this, honestly, was not about the  "we were high" part, but more about that I was glad that daughter had had loyal friends around her at the time, who cared about her, and they needed to let her know the details.

AND, I just thought it was funny!!!!!!

THE BOXING RING - CAT STYLE

I'm in the process of cleaning out daughter's room - with the emphasis on OUT.  She's out of college now and in her own house with two other friends.  I will be writing more about that soon - the cleaning out part. Wow!  What a job.

BUT, the first thing I wanted to do was to get rid of the sisal rug that I thought was a wonderful idea to put on the beautiful, newly refinished hardwood floors in her room.  **A warning to cat owners.... DON'T put down a sisal rug!!!!  Cats love it - too much.  Too earthy I guess.  Or just not their decorating style, so they try to destroy it,  hourly.

Of course, to get the rug out of the room I had to dismantle the bed, which created the playground from another dimension for Pancho and Luci.  I, ultimately, forgot my chore, my job at hand, my goal, grabbed my camera, and spent an hour watching them size things up.  I'm easily entertained these days.

Here they are trying to figure out what this is and how to get inside "it".  And, non-cat-owners should know here that cats can get into a small shoebox, curl up, and sleep for 12 hours.  This was a larger playing field apparently.......

So Pancho "gets in" and Luci is looking for the portal, the magical opening, not realizing she was looking in the wrong place.......

Pancho is not going to help, thinking that Luci's elevator probably doesn't go all the way to the top floor anyway.

And, Luci's saying hey don't walk away from me!  I need help here.........

Pancho scopes things out "inside" and Luci is still trying to find the portal!.........

So Pancho picks his corner and wonders if there is a way out over here, thinks whatever..... 

Uh oh, how did she get in?!  I zoned out for one minute and here she is and she wants MY corner......

Oh, crap,  and she's really pissed that I didn't tell her where the portal was....

She look's like she wants to kick my ass, not rattling my chains too much though........

Jeez, Luc, you can have that corner, I'll take the other corner.  I really just want to take a nap......

But bitch I am not forgettin' about this..........

But actually we're both bored and we can't find a way to get out of this.  Where is the exit portal?  IS there an exit portal, and I wonder if there is still food in our bowls ........

But they found their way "out" and disappeared long enough for me to get the bed put back together and put the freshly washed mattress pad back on the bed to do this.... 

Aggression takes it all out of you apparently.  Or transporting to another dimension.  Or just going without food for an hour.  Or maybe they like lavender linen mist.

They have been the best of friends today, even giving each other the occasional lick on the forehead, the equivalent to a high-five for humans!

Again, I am easily entertained.

THINGS I LOVE

I have to admit that I got the idea to post this list from another website I follow.  However, I have kept lists like this for many, many, many years. These are things that I find myself saying "I love" RIGHT NOW.   Most of these things are ALWAYS on the list but some come and go.

I think everyone should start doing this.  You should start slowly, however.  I have 200 of these - I have notebooks everywhere with stuff written in them.  One of these days when my kids find all these notebooks they are going to think what in the hell was going on with mom here!!  But......

I LOVE:
cats, dark senses of humor, my husband, pink begonias with green leaves, daisies, irises, the UPS guy, anybody who holds the door open for you, my kids, people who really know how to laugh, jeans, jeans, jeans, my job, my co-workers, Shady Grove, Maudies, El Patio, El Rancho, enchiladas, chips and salsa, chips and queso, Red River New Mexico, citrus scented candles, real matches, dishwashers, wind chimes, purses, flip flops, Jackson Browne, Bruce Springsteen, Counting Crows, Tom Petty, my daughter's spirit and kindness, my son's calm and goodness,  a good broom, cilantro, lamps, cheeseburgers, silver chains, charms, lap blankets, beer, a good Bloody Mary, Threadgills, people who play the piano, people who play the guitar, funny people, people who wave at you when you let them into traffic, my ex sister-in-law, happy hour with friends, FRIENDS, FRIENDS, FRIENDS, flowers, file folders, jalapenos, fresh pillow cases, Oprah, Ellen Degeneres, my doctor, my husband's doctor, my therapist, wildflowers, cowboy boots, avocados, action movies, hot water, facial hair (on men!!), Janet Evanovich novels, Austin, blue and white pottery, white restaurant dishes, fluffy pillows, breakfast tacos, colors, colors, colors, MUSIC, MUSIC, MUSIC, photographs, a good camera, my computer, pico de gallo, memories of my husband in high school, my nephew, a good lookin' guy on a Harley, Oil of Olay, raspberries, cantaloupe, football, football, football, bacon, things that don't match, the Longhorns, old chest-of-drawers, old cedar chests, journals, diaries, Pancho & Luci, tv, Robert Downy Jr in Wonder Boys, Michael Douglas in Wonder Boys, the movie Wonder Boys, quotes, Bruce Willis movies, Whoopi Goldberg, Brad Pitt in Twelve Monkeys, Coen brothers movies, pictures of doors and windows, fabric, 3-way light bulbs, nachos, the skyline of Austin at night or early morning, the movie Bandits, plastic storage bins, bad horror movies, old pictures of myself doing things I had forgotten, good lotion, white cotton sheets, wooden spoons, salt, onions, a good story, everything about The Wizard of Oz, wood floors,  Barbara Kingsolver novels, thin washrags, thick towels, paper clips,  itunes, email, paying bills online, the color red, Chicago, renting a car, the smell of honeysuckle.........

And it will go on and on....... 

I love the incredibly calm mental energy that goes into making this list.
It is something I will maintain for the rest of my life.

COFFEE

I've never been a coffee drinker. I've never liked coffee.  EVER.  I  have tried and tried and tried.  Didn't like the immediate taste, the after taste, the thought of not being able to get moving in the morning until I had a cup.  Nothing about coffee has ever been appealing to me.  And I thought that if I had lived lots of years without it then I could live the rest of my life without it.

I've always craved my Diet Cokes in the morning.

Well, in the past year I've decided that I WANT to be coffee drinker.  I want to be one of those people who crave it, talk about it, have their favorite flavors, have their favorite additives, have their favorite cups, meet for cofffee, etc.  And, basically, I just need something new to get me moving FASTER in the morning. 

Diet Coke is NOT doing it for me any longer.

So my good friend and coffee enthusiast and pusher has been giving me lessons in Coffee 101.  She gave me a cup of her favorite last week and I loved it.  The only coffee I've ever said that I loved.  THEN, she gave me a bag of the fresh ground stuff to further encourage my addiction.  She gave it to me with a grin on her face that said yep I've got her hooked now. All that afternoon I kept picking up the bag and smelling it.  It was getting to me, seeping into my pours.

Well, today was day three of my new habit, new addiction, new obsession.  The "new thing" that in five years my doctor is going to tell me I have to give up if I want to live one more day.  I know that in a few days I'm going to be looking for all night coffee bars.  I'm going to wake up at four in the morning just to make sure, for the third time, that the coffee maker is on auto - so it goes off and starts cookin' EXACTLY when my alarm goes off.  I feel it. 

This morning I actually asked Husband if he wanted me to pour him a cup of coffee.  Never in all our billion years of marriage have I asked him that question!!  After I picked him up off the floor he said yes honey I would like that.

So what I now know is that I've always been a closet coffee addict.  I've just managed to keep it under control.  Now, thanks to my good friend/pusher woman, I have reconnected with that addiction and found my new favorite thing to do in the mornings.

And my coffee of choice is Starbucks Sumatra with a splash of  half & half.  Oh, my!  Just putting it in writing makes me want a cup!!!!

I think that in the near future there are going to be Coffee Addiction Clinics sprouting up everywhere.  People will be saying they've been gone for a while because they been in the CAC.  It will be socially accepted.

I'm hoping insurance will pay for my stay there.

A ROUGH WEEKEND

This was 9:45 Sunday evening....... Not a normal sacked-out time for Pancho and Luci.

Apparently they had a rough weekend.

I guess I wasn't paying attention.

I'm sure they'll let me know about it at 3 a.m.

THE PURSE

I have a friend, a friend who came to be my friend through unexpected circumstances. But a friend she is and what I love about her is that she knows exactly where she is right now and where she was a while ago.  She's grounded.

She popped into my office a couple of weeks ago to just say HI and to let me know that she was thinking about ME.  She always looks perfectly put together and that day she had a great purse on her shoulder.

I told her that I LOVED her purse.  She said that it was new and that she wasn't sure it "was her", but she had already "worn it" so she couldn't take it back.  I said well I really love it and it's fun and happy.

A few days later I walked into my office, late as usual.  There was a cute gift bag on my chair and my office smelled wonderful.  Like flowers.  So, immediately, I was happy - shifting away from my morning home life.

The gift bag had THAT purse in it with some wonderful smelling stuff and an unbelievably sweet and kind note from this new friend - saying that she wanted me to have it because she saw how much I loved it and she knew I needed some happiness right now.

Here's the purse.......

I get more comments on this purse and I tell everyone the story.  I love it.  I hope everyone who asks hears the story behind it and "pays it forward" in some way.  Sorry to be sappy.  I can't help myself.  I'm grateful to so many, many people for so many, many things.

When one is going through hard times, and we all probably will at some point (my time is right now) it's just so amazing how much this sort of kindness can mean to you.  Every morning I pick my purse up off the floor and head out the door.  This purse makes me happy each and every morning.

The kindness in people is unbelievable.  I have a hundred of these stories to share.

Thank you, A, for giving me a smile a dozen times every day.

FUN SATURDAY ACTIVITY

I cleaned out the freezer today.  Hadn't planned to.  Wasn't on my list of fun, relaxing things I wanted to do on a rainy Saturday.

Ask me why I cleaned out the freezer today.......

NOT because it needed to be cleaned and organized.  Not because we had a mechanical problem.

Nope.  I cleaned out the freezer today because I exploded a diet coke in the freezer.  Yep.  There wasn't one tiny square inch of the freezer that didn't have frozen, frothy, sticky diet coke on it.

I had put the diet coke IN the freezer because I had FAILED to put them in the refrigerator on any previous day so they would be cold when I wanted one.  I do the freezer thing frequently and have exploded may beverages before - never this kind of mess though.

I never learn the lesson these sorts of situations are supposed to teach us.  I don't know what it is with me.  I just think ok it won't happen again then it happens again.

I didn't take a picture of the mess BECAUSE after I started pulling everything out of the freezer to hose down I realized how much crap was in there.  I had almonds in there, and two bags of rice, and 200 of those little freezy-things that are supposed to make the puffiness around your eyes go away.  I had leftover turkey from 2007.  I had two of those freezer beer mugs in there but all the liquid stuff that's supposed to freeze was gone (I wonder where it went and I didn't know about it).  I had three bags of pinto beans, the dried kind, uncooked.  I don't remember putting them in there.  And there were two zip bags of unidentified stuff, but I realize that everyone probably has those bags in the freezer.  Please tell me that everyone has those bags of unidentified stuff in their freezer.  Ok, I have one friend who I'm sure does NOT have them but hopefully everyone else does.

So, I cleaned up the mess and it took two hours.  Sad thing is..... I put almost everything back in the freezer.  Except the two unidentified bags - those I cooked for dinner tonight!  JUST KIDDING.
I just don't learn the lesson.

PANCHO AND LUCI - another update like you want to know

My cats, Pancho and Luci, are my companions, my thorns, my in-house therapists, my reason to get out of bed on lots of mornings, my peps I talk to ABOUT EVERYTHING (and they can keep secrets believe me!), and HUSBAND'S favorite thing to grumble about.  HE loves them, but........

I've decided that there are basically four segments of their daily lives.  And four is maybe stretching it.  It's probably like two and a half or three, but I like these pictures so I'm saying four.

HERE ARE LUCI'S FOUR STAGES.....
Stage 1 - "I'm sleeping, and a load of gravel could be dumped on the roof and I'm not hearing it."

Stage 2 - "Seriously, just leave me alone."

Stage 3 - "I know you found one of my pipe cleaners and you have it in your hand."

Stage 4 - "I'm ready for anything you have to offer and I better have food IN the bowl and a clean litter box.  And I like the Barnes and Noble bag."  This is Luci's stage for most of the day.  She needs some testing.

AND HERE ARE PANCHO'S FOUR STAGES.
They need NO narrative.

I've mentioned before that Pancho is like Gandhi for me.  Look in those eyes!  You can see why!!

I love them both and they are another living, breathing, thoughtful, more entertaining thing to focus on.....  besides myself and my demanding life.

And have I mentioned that I love the UPS guy???

THERAPISTS

If you don't have one, get one.  That's all I can say.

A couple of days ago (my third visit),  I begged her to take more money from me.
PLEASE let me write the check for more.

She said NO.
And that I could cry for an hour and she didn't care.  And, in fact, she encouraged me to do that.

And she told me that I wasn't the only person on the planet.

So you should get one.

MY NEW JOURNAL

I got a package today from the wonderful UPS guy.  I love them so much (and yes I know that there are UPS women also but I'm just partial to the guys - sorry).  They only bring you good stuff.  I wasn't here today, but he left it on my front porch.  What a wonderful job.  I can't say that enough!

Last week, I found a fabulous website full of fun, crazy, irreverent things.  Right up my alley.  The website was mentioned on another blog I check daily so some of you may already know what I'm talking about.  I'm not about to mention it because I don't want to get SUED!  I have enough to think about.

I ordered a few things from the company, restraining myself greatly!!!!

I LOVE little notebooks, journals, legal pads, basically things with lines to write on.  And if they come in colors and are cute, even better!

I have some potholes in my road right now, to say the least, so I'm always writing things down to remember to do, to tell someone, to re-read, to contemplate, to send to someone, to tattoo on my arm when I get my first tattoo next month.  Whatever, I like notebooks...........  Here's what I ordered and received from the, I'm sure, cute UPS guy today............

Pancho and Luci were fitting the profile, don't you think??!  Here's a better picture, so hopefully you can read it....................

Luci thought there was something UNDER the book, but then she realized the name of the book, so.... Plus she has an attitude.

WOW, this was made for me.  ME!  And there are pages and pages for ME to write down "Why I Am Dysfunctional Today".  (I told my friend, D, today that I was moving at snail speed - NOW I can write about it - I couldn't have done that on any other sort of journal!!!)  OH, AND, at the bottom of each page it has a check list of "What Would Make It Better Today".  The choices are, well I think you can see those.  NOT politically correct, but...... (click on the picture to see more closely).  AND there are quotes from FAMOUS people, on every page, who think they have issues also.

I'm not the only one out there, I know, who needs this journal.  But right now, I'm thinking it was created for me.  And just me.  These people saw MY life and came up with this journal.  What great people.

Here's one of my favorite quotes from the journal.......  

"It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane."   ~Philip K. Dick  (I assume the science fiction writer - and he should know!)

Wow!  Absolutely this was created for me!

So, once again the UPS guy made my day.

THINGS YOU WEAR UNDER YOUR CLOTHES

OK, I resisted using BRAS as the title of this because I thought it might force some of you to hit the delete button, over and over again!  But this is about bras.

Here's the deal,  as I recently posted I HATE shopping and I HATE THE MALL.  I know HATE is a strong word but it applies here.  So buying a bra, or multiple bras, is something I push out of my thoughts anytime I start realizing that I might need to be thinking about, maybe looking into, seeing if I could start putting it on my to-do list, and buying a few new ones.

This is actually something I do online. And I can hear some of you women laughing and saying how do you buy a bra online, you don't know how it will fit, or if you will like the way it looks, and this is something you go to THE MALL to do (I had one good friend who offered to pick up anything I needed at THE MALL.  I don't think this is what she had in mind though). 

I say, I don't really care.  I just need to get some and it's a crap-shoot.  I stand a 50/50 chance of scoring a good bra online as not.  And you can also make up your bra size to be whatever you think it should be or what you want it to be, then send it back if you are tragically mistaken. And when I find one or two I like I then order them in bulk.

Well.....my bulk supply is gone now and this is a project I'm going to have to be tackling in the next couple of weeks.  I successfully avoided doing it this weekend so who knows how long I can put it off.

Things are getting a little shabby in the bra drawer and it's forcing me to do laundry a little more often than the once-every-three-months laundry schedule I seem to be on.  Nothing makes me wake up like being faced with laundry.

And who invented the BRA anyway?  I  bet is was a man.

AND, I can take my bra off without ever taking any of my clothes off or showing any skin.  It's one of my hidden talents.

MALL-PHOBIA & ONLINE SHOPPING

I don't like THE MALL. I get a panic attack just thinking about having to shop at THE MALL. I have always avoided them. Always hated them. Always found another reason to NOT go to THE MALL.

I don't "go to the mall", "look at the mall", "grab it at the mall", "walk the mall", "meet at the mall", "see it at the mall", "find it at the mall", etc. I just can't make myself go into one. I'm sure it's something I should talk to a therapist about, but I'm pretty content just avoiding them. I manage without them.

I've never known anyone who hated THE MALL as much as I do.

They're crowded, they have too much to offer, they smell weird, they have too many entrances and exits, they don't have enough entrances and exits, they're too spread out (I'm on the north end, I need to be on the south end, but I have to walk through the west side to get to the south end, oh, but I guess the car is on the east side). Just too, too, much thinking and planning.

I'm more of an "I'm just going to run in and grab it" sort of person. The Dollar Store, The Container Store, Barnes and Noble, work just fine for me. Oh, and Target. OMG, Target. I could write pages and pages about how much I love Target.

But what I really love, I mean REALLY, REALLY love is Amazon. I can get everything I need on Amazon.  Or at least I haven't found anything that I CAN'T get on Amazon. Well, except for grocery store sorts of things. I still need the grocery store - not the "can buy a lawnmower at the grocery store" sort of grocery store, but the basic grocery store. I don't want to buy ground chuck or tampons on Amazon.  AND, it gets delivered right to your front door!!!!

You can buy a book or 12,000 books; you can get a butter dish or silver service for a hundred; you can get a camera or a coloring book; you can get a dog bed or a stuffed elk head to hang on your wall, you can get a TV or an etch-a-sketch, or you can order a self-help CD to help teach you how to deal with your phobia of THE MALL ..... all on Amazon.

Well, I ordered a book for a friend recently on Amazon. Just one book, for a gift, the size of a magazine, just one book. Here is how it arrived.


They could have put a dozen books in this box. They could have put a set of dishes in this box, they could have put a wedding dress in this box. But they put ONE book in the box, which of course needed all the blow-up floaties that they use now as padding. Don't they have an envelope for just one book??

I'm sure the person who filled my order was just trying to go out for a beer or go to a soccer game, and maybe they were out of the "one book" packages. I'm hopeful. But I think the title of the book is pretty funny considering the over-packaging they took to ship it. And FYI - I did NOT make this up!!

So, anyway, I still hate THE MALL. And I still love Amazon. But I'm going to put in a phone call to my friends there in the shipping department.

And who would have thought that I had so much to say about this topic. Hum.

NEW HEIGHTS

Luci has been a member of our immediate family for 10 months. She arrived with Daughter from Illinois last June, having survived her college days, also. I'm pretty sure Luci was proud of herself for surviving. Drunk college kids love cats apparently. Luci has some stories to tell.

So I try to cut her some slack. She has been able to relax, catch up on sleep, and broaden her horizons. Luci has never been outside and likes everything about the house. . . the top of the refrigerator, the leather sofa, curtains, the water faucets, the showers, the closets, pipe cleaners, everything.

However, Husband has issues with her love of the top of the refrigerator and the leather sofa.

He has a gun. . . and it's loaded with water all the time.

Yesterday I found Luci in a new place and I'm not sure what took her so long to find it. It's the wall in the bathroom around the shower and a perfect place for cats to explore.

Here's Luci trying to figure out how to pop the skylight off the roof.

And here's Luci trying to figure out how to undo the screws to the AC vent (fun to be had there!)

And here's Pancho saying yo dude you need to get down from there!

I have to say I'm not completely seeing the humor in Luci's new discovery because there is NO PLACE higher in our house that she can climb. It scares me to think about Luci being bored.

She has goals and I don't think she has come close to meeting them yet.

INSOMNIA

I'm not a good sleeper. I sleep for a couple of hours then I'm awake for a couple of hours, etc, etc. The past 6 months have been even worse, for many reasons.

So, I yawn all the time. It's not that I'm bored with the people I'm with or the conversation (well...?), it's just that I'm ALWAYS sleep-deprived. I try to catch up on the weekends but I don't think it works that way - not like laundry.

Anyway...... I found a great quote tonight and I love quotes:

"I haven't been to sleep for over a year. That's why I go to bed early. One needs more rest if one doesn't sleep." ~ Evelyn Waugh

Funny.

I'm short on words tonight. I need a nap.

SOMETHING I SAW TODAY

I was driving to work this morning. I was stopped at a red light and I see this truck with a large graphic and the words "The Swimming Man" very professionally painted all along the side of the truck.

Well, it only takes one single little suggestion of something different or weird or funny for me to go off in 50 different directions all at once in my head (doctors have a name for this in children, teachers have a different name). The first thing I did was grab my purse to get my camera. Traffic on a major highway has never stopped me from taking a picture if I want to take a picture.

But, oh no, my camera bit the dust for real last night (RIP - it's been suffering for a while now) so I DIDN'T HAVE A CAMERA. I've pretty much had a camera with me every minute of my waking hours since college days. I was distraught. So was the traffic behind me who wanted me to get on through the red light. They obviously had only ONE thought going on in their heads at the time.

So, anyway, I have had so many ideas about what "The Swimming Man" was about and who he was. And note here, I Google everything - it makes me appear smarter. And I don't believe things are true unless Google says so. I've avoided Google-ing (??) "The Swimming Man" because I don't want to know what he really is.

So here are my thoughts:

I think he was maybe a step above (or below) "The Pool Guy". Although, I didn't get a chance to look at the guy driving "The Swimming Man" truck to see if he was "pool guy" material, thanks to the person full of road rage behind me, but I think he was probably older than the average early 20's "pool guy", probably liked beer and enchiladas more than biceps, a tan, oh, and cleaning pools.

He could have been a swimming instructor - loves kids - or "loves kids" - and wanted you to know it.

Or, he could have been a "think tank" sort of guy. You figure that one out. I don't think I need to explain.

Or maybe it was a woman driving. It would take a strong woman, a woman very secure with herself to drive a truck that said "The Swimming Man" on the side. I would like that woman I think.

If I had paid more attention to the GRAPHIC on the side of the truck it might have explained everything. I was too struck with the words. The Swimming Man. Hum.

So, English teachers out there.... I dare you to use this as a writing prompt for your classes.

There's just a lot of stuff "swimming" around in my head.

CLUTTER & DROPPING THINGS

THIS is what the floor on my side of the bed looks like. Right now. This is really it - real time! I didn't have to add stuff to make it look worse.
This isn't what Pottery Barn shows us it's supposed to look like.

You might notice the pet-hair-remover roller buried there, the FABULOUS Pioneer Woman Cookbook (go buy it!!), and my work friends might notice my "rapid communication" phone list for emergencies there also (and it will probably still be there next winter when the list might come in handy since cleaning this conglomeration of stuff isn't on my to-do list right now. Really. I know what's there if I need it.)

WELL, early this morning I was trying to take my little tiny thyroid pill, one little pill a day! That's all I had to do. And I dropped the whole bottle, fell right out of my hand, right onto this pile. The whole bottle.

At first I thought about trying to find them all, actually going through this pile at 5:00 a.m. and finding every little pill because NOBODY wants me to NOT take my thyroid pill, believe me! But then I realized that even losing something vital in this pile was NOT going to make me go through it. This pile has been accumulating for over a year now, gosh, maybe longer. I'm good at adding to it and ever better at ignoring it.

So after I thought it all through, at 5:00 a.m., really thought about it, I dialed Randalls and called in a refill - picked it up this afternoon. Problem solved.

There's a lesson to be learned here - I just don't think I'm capable of learning it. I'm a "pile" sort of person.

I did wonder, briefly, what thyroid pills would do to cats if they chewed them. And how could I tell? The solution was still to go through the pile and find all the pills. But since it's impossible for three people to force a pill down a cat's throat when it's needed and live through it, I figured they'd be safe.

For most of my previous life, this sort of thing would have sent me into a an unbelievable panic. I would have been unable to sleep, think, carry on a conversation, eat (well, not really), function normally, until I had accounted for all the little pills.

I was pretty impressed with my new-found "Whatever!" attitude.

SORTING MAIL

I was sorting through piles and piles of mail/magazines/coupons/bills/fliers today (and watching my Meg Ryan movies!) I was going to tackle this project over Spring Break but, being the procrastinator that I am, I knew that there was a long weekend a couple of weeks down the road, so I decided to procrastinate instead.

I gathered my THREE plastic storage bins - for my three piles (keep, hate, deal with). I was all organized - ready to get it done. I LOVE PLASTIC STORAGE BINS!!

Anyway, I got a phone call and walked outside to talk and sit in the tiny bit of sunshine that had decided to appear this afternoon.

This is what I came back to.

I guess they did the Goldilocks thing in choosing which bin they were going to snooze in, as all three already had stuff in them, just differing amounts of stuff.

Pancho and Luci are ALWAYS ready to help me out.

Seriously, would dogs be this helpful.

I rounded up two more storage bins and let them sleep.

MEG RYAN MOVIES

I love Meg Ryan movies. These are two of my favorites (similar names - weird!):

"In the Land of Women"
"The Women"

Great girl movies (I hate the term "chick flick", hate the endearment "chick" actually - must be something from a previous life.)

I watched both of them AGAIN today. THAT'S the mood I was in.

HAVING BABIES AND BEYOND....

When we all, as loving couples, decide that we want to have children, pass it all along, so to speak, we were NEVER told about the moving issues we will be faced with 17 or 18 years down the road once they consider themselves adults.

We get these new, sweet, babies who need our love, care, body-parts, etc. We are so excited, proud, honored to have these new additions to our "couple" - to show off in pictures, to others, etc

We weren't told, in exact words, that at some point they will want to get the hell away from you.

At the same time they want you to stay in contact, just stay away, but still in contact, but away.... College is a nice way to explain it to our friends. Or, if not college, it's that they moved to Borneo to work with tribal children, or they're going to work with the Red Cross, or they want to find their own way, or explore their other options, or they want to be a lifeguard for a while longer, or they just want to work in a bar (which is my favorite reason because I certainly want to know that there are bartenders still out there!).

Whatever the reason, they will eventually want to get the hell away from you.
The thing is - by "that time" you really want them to get the hell away from you also.

But, we parents still do everything we can to help our kids.

We experienced our daughter's 7th move in 6 years today.

It was a parent's proud moment, or actually a MOM's moment since husband wasn't helping at all and hasn't helped in the last 3 moves, god love him - it's just not his thing.

Daughter even talked mom into trimming the shrubs out front. At first I said honey I'm not really feeling like yard work today but then she said well they're really in the way mom and I said well just put the hedge trimmer in the car just in case I feel like doing it and then 2 hours later the hedges were trimmed. SCHMUCK ON MY FORHEAD!

Back to husband - when you get married everything is a partnership, right. Husband does a really great job with the behind the scenes stuff, like sending a guy to hang ceiling fans and check the microwave plug, and making sure they remember what the lock on the door is for. And, like going to the College World Series last June while I moved daughter home from Illinois. He's good at the behind the scenes stuff.
He's never really been into packing/loading/unpacking boxes. (I think that should be a check-box on the marriage application - yes I will pack boxes, nope not packin').

So, all of you young moms and dads out there, just know that it doesn't end until they are on their 5th, 6th, or 7th move, (or beyond, please god don't let there be too many more!)

We've moved the same furniture many times to many places. Daughter is a smart, loving, intelligent, young woman, and is with her BFF's in a cute little house tonight, with the doors and windows wide open, probably cars unlocked (might as well have a sign out front that says "hey if I don't know you come on in!) eating Dan's Burgers, and watching reruns of Dexter. We stopped by on our way home tonight and they were happy. Boxes everywhere but they were watching tv and happy.

I'm tearing up right now! YIKES!! We parents do everything within our power to make sure our kids are happy. Just like when we filled party favor bags 5 minutes before 35 5-year-olds showed up.

I'm pretty satisfied with my parenting skills tonight.

Moms, give me an Amen!